Monday, August 20, 2007

Triple Grande, Non-Fat, Extra Hot Latte

If you are at work and you inadvertently spill you triple grande, non fat, extra hot latte all over your lap and chair, try not to scream. If you scream, the whole office full of men will come running over to see what is making you scream. Then you look silly while dripping with latte. If you are a more covert woman, you will stand up quickly, grab paper towels, wipe up the mess and then act as though nothing happened. After all, the dark grey skirt you were wearing won’t show much, and once it’s dry it will be like it never happened. BUT, if you are like me, you will scream because overreacting is something you do by nature and then everyone will know what happened.

After I cleaned up the latte mess, I sat in my very wet skirt shivering to death. The office is usually the temperature of a refrigerator, but when the latte isn’t extra hot any more and all over your skirt, it makes you cold...extra cold. Since I no longer had any dignity left, I opted to put on my walk to work pants rather than catch pneumonia. I am very fashionable with my red high heels, navy capri running pants and a black blouse.

Hopefully the skirt dries enough to put it back on before my meeting this afternoon!

Monday, August 13, 2007

Please Refrain...

The other morning, I got Ma’am-ed.

The college aged man handing out the free Edmonton newspaper, The Metro, decided to Ma’am me on my walk into work.

Metro Man – Morning Ma’am. Would you like a Metro?
Donloree – Uh…no. Thanks though. (I was trying to be gracious, despite the obvious Ma’am-ing)
Metro Man – Have a great day Ma’am.

Not only did he Ma’am me, but he did it twice! That morning I started out feeling peppy, but after being Ma’am-ed twice within 3 seconds, I felt old and haggard.

I don’t appreciated being Ma’am-ed. I am currently 27 years old, which is no where near the Ma’am-ing zone.

I understand that it’s hard to know what to say sometimes, but call me something other than Ma’am! Here are some options:
Hey you!
Or, better yet, perhaps don’t address me at all if the only thing you know how to do is Ma’am me!

I do have grey hair, but I dye it back to my natural color so I don’t look silly. You can Ma’am a woman when she has jet black hair and it’s obvious that she shouldn’t. When I am at that point in my life, I will appreciate being Ma’am-ed, because “Hey!”, “Hey you!”, “Lady” and “Miss” will all be demeaning and rude. But for now, please refrain from the Ma’am-ing…it’s actually quite disturbing.